“Sexy Girls: How Hot Is Too Hot” was the title of a nonfiction Christian book I read as a young teenage girl. I had a lot to learn about the power of my sexuality at the age of fourteen. This newfound piece of beautiful wisdom had shown me how and why God expected all of His daughters to dress modestly. However, Hayley Dimarco, author of “Sexy Girls”, was completely deterred from sexiness unless it was within the confines of marriage, for the reason that a young lady was dishonoring God with her body. How is that exactly possible?
‘If Ain’t on the Menu, Keep It Covered Up” was an interesting expression, and it served a very good purpose. Dimarco used that expression to show teenage girls the value of dressing modestly, and how a bare minimum of clothing advertises them as promiscuous. Needless to say, it is undeniably true. However, like many other Christians, Hayley Dimarco is deterred sexy attire. Can dressing sexy truly prevent a woman from being holy? I swear up and down I am not a self-proclaimed Christian; but I know there is a difference between sexy and dressing promiscuously. Unfortunately, many Christians fail to understand the difference. What is the similarity between sexy and slutty? Bare midriffs and belly ring combinations, G string bikinis, and miniskirts worn without underwear. These outfits are perfect examples of how sexy and slutty are used interchangeably. No wonder Christians have a very sour attitude towards sexiness; seeing that they are under the impression that bare flesh is sometimes the standard ultimate sex appeal. According to Webster’s dictionary, the definition of sexy is “intending to arouse sexual desire or arousing sexual desire or interest.” On the other hand, the word slut has a different definition: 2. a. A woman of loose morals or a prostitute. Different meanings with different concepts. Now, how can the two be similar to the other?
Women have developed the idea that sex appeal is skin appeal. Thankfully, there isn’t always a relationship between the two ideas. A black evening dress with a perfect décolletage, paired with red lipstick arouses a healthy sexual desire. The woman’s breasts are one of her best features; firm and healthy. While the man who has her heart, and is truly devoted to her would take delight in kissing her crimson lips. Fish net stockings paired with an obscenely short dress, not to mention eyes that are heavily outlined in black indicate that a woman regards herself as a man’s sex toy. Yes, sexually attractive can be delicious to the lustful eye. In contrast to what others believe, it is important for Christians to understand the difference between sexy and slutty.
The negative attitude towards sexiness can be changed if Christians see that there is a noticeable difference. Did the Bible tell women to cover themselves from head to toe or severely limit their clothing choices? “I want women to dress modestly with decency and propriety, not with braided hair, gold, and fancy clothes. But with good deeds for those who are ready to profess worship to God.” 1 Timothy 6:10. Now with the words modestly, decency, and propriety turtleneck sweaters and ankle length skirts immediately come to mind. One piece bathing suits and short sleeved shirts come to mind with more moderate views. Many Christians would adopt a completely different approach if they saw the distinction between sexy and slutty.
Establishing a relationship between classy and sexy is a great way to develop a new understanding of sexiness. For example, a strapless short black dress, paired with red pumps, and complemented with smoky eyes reveal a perfect balance. The dress is either directly at or slightly above the knees to reveal long and smooth shaven legs; a prized asset of hers. Now, what does this lady reveal about herself? Proud of her sexuality, because she knows that her sexuality is a physical complement if her womanhood. As a godly woman who dresses sexy, she has only highlighted her sexuality. Dressing sexy outside if marriage doesn’t always imply that you are playing the devil. On the other hand, overzealous Christians proclaim that dressing sexy is the utmost of all sins. For instance, women will avoid wearing short dresses, make up, and shaving. Yes, God lives to make us holy rather than happy. But, He also gave us freedom to live in and beyond the Word without living outside of it.
I understand that many Christian women are unsure of how to strike a reasonable balance when it comes to dressing sexy. My first suggestion is to open God’s Word, and see what His dress standards are. His standards will help you set your standards. Another piece of advice: Be sexy, but not too sexy. Moreover, it is important to understand that some forms of sexiness are to be reserved for marriage.
A woman has the freedom to embrace her sexuality; she is not commanded to hide it. Since the beauty of sexuality has been tainted by sin, sexuality is very easy to tarnish. A wise woman of God needs to use discretion.